Bonding
by The Deranged One
Summary: Artemis Sr. finds Artemis doing something he shouldn't...Rsted T for swearing. Artemis is a bit OOC at the end.


**Please, be nice to me. Constructive criticism yes, flames no. I luv you guys, and please Review, providing you make it to the end…**

**Disclaimer: Arty and his dad belong to Eoin Colfer. For now… (MUAHAHAHAHA)**

**And I got the bomb description off of wikipedia, so that part is TRUE!**

Artemis Sr. waited outside his son's room, his fist partially raised to the door.

He had decided to try to do some father-son bonding time. Notice _try_. His only son was not exactly social. As much as he loathed admitting it, his Arty was a bit of a…well, a social misfit.

Quietly, he sighed, knocking on Artemis's door.

"Come in", came Artemis's voice from within the deep cavern of his room.

Artemis Sr. stepped into his son's room, gazing over it. On his desk there were bits of wire and to be honest, it looked like a laboratory with a bed shoved in the corner.

Artemis Sr.'s eyes located his son's form, working on a project, and he walked over to him, his prosthetic leg giving his walk a slight, barely noticeable limp.

"Son," Artemis Sr. said, "I need to discuss something with you"

"Fine Father, ask away," Artemis replied.

"Well, you know that your mother and I have been – " just then Artemis Sr. noticed exactly what it was that his son was working on. "WHAT THE HELL!? IS THAT A BOMB!? SHIT!?!?!?"

Artemis calmly looked on as his father used swear words that would put a sailor to shame.

"Father," he said with a sigh, "please refrain from using such profanities, especially in a my presence. I could learn some bad habits. Unlikely, but still."

Artemis Sr. finally recovered from the shock of seeing his son creating a bomb. He had been under the impression Artemis had turned his life over to the legal side of the law. Evidently, he was wrong.

"Artemis, why are you building a bomb?", Artemis Sr. inquired.

"Because Father, I wish to expand my abilities. It's not like I'll use it to blow up Dublin or anything. It is for education's sake."

"Arty, that is not a good reason! Give that to me this instant young man!"

""But father," here Artemis's tone was almost whiney, "do you even know _what_ a bomb is? A bomb is any range of explosive devises that typically rely on the ethothermatic chemical reaction of an explosive material to produce an extremely sudden and violent release of energy. The word comes from a Greek word meaning bombos, which has approximately the same meaning as "boom" in the English language. A nuclear weapon employs chemical based explosives to initiate a much larger nuclear based explosion."

Artemis Sr. simply nodded, as if he understood, while his expression was baffled.

Artemis sighed at his father lack of intelligence on this subject. He was a crime lord (well, before he got all goody-two shoes, for gods sake, shouldn't he know this sort of thing?

Artemis got up and picked up his bomb, carrying it out of the room with him while his father stood there, wondering how common it was for your teenage son to be building bombs in their spare time.

Suddenly, he realized Artemis was escaping. Following his fatherly instincts, he stopped Artermis before he could reach the door.

Artemis Sr. knew that yet _another_ lecture on responsibility was inevitable.

"Arty," he began, "I know life's been tough on you, but you really need to focus on what's important in life. Things like stealing, and _making bombs_, it will get you nowhere in life. Honestly, I expected better from you…." **(A/N I won't go on with the responsibility talk because, lets face it, haven't we all heard it many times **

**before from our own parents?)**

Artemis settled down into a large chair in a secluded corner of the Fowl Manor library, thankful that he hadn't been caught with what he was _really_ doing when his father came in.

He pulled out his previous "project", a Cosmo magazine, along with several others, and began his search for models with big boobs in scanty clothing.

Puberty was a formidable opponent.

**Okay… DONE! Thanks for reading this, it means a lot to me** **that you haven't left yet. And yes, I know Artemis is sorta OOC at the end, but lets face it, puberty is strong and affects even geniuses like Arty…**

**REVIEW! **

**(please…)**


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